Let’s talk about language
In our first two posts, I identified April as Sexual Assault Awareness month and then went on to answer the question, What Constitutes Sexual Assault? Today, let’s discuss the language we use in our speaking and writing when it comes to sexual assault..
But first, a brief sidebar. For readers who are writers, there are plenty of discussions on blogs, podcasts, and writing classes on the issue of “verbing” nouns and “nouning” verbs.
The former is almost passé. We have been Xeroxing, Googling, and Zooming for years. We have also been known to butter our bread, table our motions, and medal in the Olympics. However, as editors and marketing people increasingly encourage the use of action verbs, we are now seeing, ‘I’ll pencil you in," "Let me umbrella you,” “I heart you,” and my wife’s least favorite, “Beer me.”
Then there is the question of “nouning” verbs. That’s the real ask. I hope you like my read. Just don’t share the reveal.
The purpose behind my question of whether to “Noun or Verb?” has nothing to do with proper or improper English. The issue is the effect created by a noun. And, would readers or listeners be affected differently by a verb?
One of the themes in East of Apple Glen is how violence impacts not just those wounded, but also their family and their community. What words should be used?
Okay, here’s our thought for the day: I believe it’s important not to use the term victim. Victim is a noun, and from school we know nouns are. A noun identifies. A noun names. A noun is always. As a pastor, I find it insensitive to use the noun victim with a person who has experienced violence because it freezes that person in time. He was. She is. They always will be.
Far better is to use a verb in the past tense: victimized, assaulted, abused, violated. These name what has happened without “noun-ing” the person to be one who forever is. Also, using a past tense verb leaves open a future of redressing, repairing, rehabilitating, perhaps even reconciling.
In addition, I am careful in my use of the noun survivor. This word has a wide range of possibilities, from severely hurt to healed and whole. Because healing from sexual trauma is essentially a lifelong journey, I prefer the verb surviving. At a minimum, it is more sensitive to ask a person where they are post trauma. “I am a survivor” lets the listener know she is taking control of her life and identity. “I’m getting by” or “It’s day to day” communicates that he is at a different place in the healing process.
Before assigning a label, ask. Let the traumatized share where they are in their journey. And because healing is a journey, it seems appropriate to use a verb instead of a noun.
More on the question—what happens after an episode of violence?—in another entry.
