Hiding or Healing?
After sexual trauma, how do you know if you’re healing… or hiding? It’s not always obvious. And it’s not always one or the other.
Let’s begin with this truth: there is no single path to recovery after sexual violence. The only path that matters is the one that works for you. But there are two essential starting points.
First: get to a place of safety.
Second: find emotional support.
Without safety, healing cannot begin. Safety is not “hiding.” It is an act of survival. It is that necessary first step toward recovery.
If you need immediate help, organizations like RAINN are available 24/7 at 800-656-HOPE (4673) or by texting HOPE to 64673.
It is natural—even necessary—to seek out spaces where you feel protected after trauma. But healing requires more than distance from harm. It requires connection, processing, and time. Support can take many forms: trusted individuals, counselors trained in trauma recovery, or organizations dedicated to helping survivors recover and rebuild. This is where the line between healing and hiding can blur.
In East of Apple Glen, Robbye O’Malley chooses to live in a secluded, intentional community for women following her assault. On the surface, it raises an obvious question: Is she hiding from something… or someone? Or is she doing the harder work of healing—creating a space where she can begin again. The answer is not simple. And rarely is.
Trauma can lead to coping mechanisms that feel protective in the moment, but become limiting over time. Withdrawing completely from the world may feel safe, but without support, it can also delay or complicate the healing process. Healing asks something more. It begins with safety, yes. But then, for support. For connection. For the courage, over time, to re-engage with life.
If you have experienced sexual violence, know this:
You do not have to do it alone.
And you do not have to have all the answers right now.
Healing is not a straight line. It begins with a single, powerful step: Getting safe. Then, from a place of safety, it’s being open to someone helping you.
